Why not? Motivation for the Faint of Heart

Spinning discs at WJMU circa 1984-85

Spinning discs at WJMU circa 1984-85

I’ve always identified with the Cowardly Lion. Courage does not come naturally to me. I cannot recall a time when I was truly fearless. Everything from meeting someone for the first time to standing on a ladder can send me into a nervous refrain, “I can’t do this. Something horrible will happen. I will make a fool of myself.”

In high school I had a teacher write me a note and tell me that he thought my naturally sweet disposition was keeping me from achieving my goals. Not exactly, Teach. Anyone who knows me, knows I can be just as *itchy as the best of them. No, there’s only one thing that keeps me from my goals:

FEAR

Sometimes, it’s paralyzing.

Those meet-n-greet dinners at the beginning of a conference? I avoid them at all costs, and when I can’t, I spend an inordinate amount of time in the restroom and leave completely exhausted. It’s taken me three days to work up the nerve to call HughesNet to advocate for a bill reduction. Even at the-job-that-pays, getting up in front of a classroom of college students on the first day of a semester is both exhilarating and terrifying.

Introversion, social anxiety, timidness, it’s probably a mix of the three. So how have I managed to accomplish anything without an arsenal of pharmaceutical assistance? Strong friendships with courageous people have certainly helped. Turning off my people-pleasing instincts and smothering the associated guilt works to some extent. Easing back on perfectionism, check. Routines, meditation, visualization help too. However, in college I hit upon one question that propels me forward:

If I do XYZ “What’s the worst thing that could happen?” and its follow-up question, “Can I live with that?”

It’s worked something like this…Freshman year in college, I hear my Resident Assistant on the college radio station and I think to myself, that sounds like a lot of fun. I would like to do that too. Then the anxious voice takes over and says, what are you kidding? You will be horrible, people won’t listen, you will lose listeners and embarrass yourself and the station. But after thinking about it for a while, I realize is embarrassment the worst thing that could happen? And if it is, can I live with that?

Yes, I can live with that.

So I took the broadcaster course and passed my FCC test and got my broadcasting license. After a semester on the air I was running the morning drive program. After two semesters I was helping to run the station in the summer. After a year I received the station’s best new DJ award.

And yes, I embarrassed myself.

But this new mantra helps me move forward. Sometimes it’s all that gets me out of the house. It’s what keeps me employed. It’s what keeps me writing and submitting and self-publishing. It’s what I tell my students to do when they’re considering a life change.  It’s what I tell my children when they want to try something new.

Millikin University Homecoming Court 1986. Me, first row, far left, maiden name, big hair. It was the 80s, what can I say? Absolutely terrified but so glad I did this for myself.

Millikin University Homecoming Court 1986. Me, first row, far left, maiden name, big hair. It was the 80s, what can I say? Absolutely terrified but so glad I did this for myself.

My mantra has motivated me all the way to Russia, Singapore, and Finland. It’s given me the guts to put myself out there singing, speaking, and writing. It’s not easy yet, and it probably never will be, but it’s working for me.

Millikin University graduating class of 1987. Uh oh, now you can figure out how old I am...

Millikin University graduating class of 1987. Uh oh, now you can figure out how old I am…

How about you? What gives you courage?

Career and Internship Fair, Rockford, IL

Looking for a part-time job, full-time job, internship opportunities? Over 40 employers will be at Rockford College, next Wednesday, March 27, 1 – 4 p.m.   Look for Regents Hall, Burpee Center, on the Rockford College campus at 5050 East State.  The Career & Internship Fair is co-sponsored by Rockford College and Rock Valley College

For more information check out www.rockford.edu/?CSEvents or call 815-921-4091.

Dress professionally and bring plenty of resumes.  You owe it to yourself to check out these opportunities; they could be a great stepping stone for you and also can enhance your resume with more real world experience.  This is open to the public, so please share with your family, friends, classmates, etc.

It’s official. I have an agent!

dreamstime_3617192.jpg

Drum roll please…

literary agent Michael Carr of Veritas Literary Agency is my agent and I couldn’t be more thrilled. You can find out all about Michael Carr here and here, and all about Veritas here.

Did you follow those links? Good, so now you understand why Michael is the perfect match for my novel SECRETS OF HOPELIGHT.

Now the real fun begins. Some elbow grease to polish the novel so it will catch the eye of one or more awesome editors and it’s off to submissions we go. In the meantime, let’s take a moment to toast—I’ll wait for you to get your glass—ready? To the end of my agony over query letters, all 61 of them…cheers!

Photo Credit © Galina Barskaya