Secret to Share: I Write Longhand

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There, I’ve said it. I struggle to compose on the keyboard. I cannot plot on the keyboard. I spend more time deleting than creating on the keyboard. Staring at a blank page on a computer screen = no. Staring at a lined legal notepad = YES! Call it what you will, “strange quirky writer refuses to get with the times.” Old-fashioned, and change-adverse. Like a baseball pitcher who refuses to change his underwear or else spoil his winning streak. Well, maybe not quite like that.

 

I write with a pen, on legal pads, usually in bed, and always in cursive (I know, a dying art I’ve read). It’s the way my brain has always worked. Studying for exams in school, I would rewrite my notes, heck I’d rewrite the textbook if I found the time. My brain has a connection to my hand, my hand to the pen, the pen to the paper.

 

I judge my progress not by a word count at the bottom of the screen but by how many pens run out of ink (one so far on BAD MOJO, four on CHOSEN SOUL, three on HOPELIGHT) and how many notepads I can fill (lots).

 

If it matters, I do appreciate the trees that have been felled in pursuit of my dreams of a college education and a career as a writer.

 

Don’t get me wrong, I love my Macbook. Truly I do. But my computer is all about work: creating syllabi and grading electronic assignments and checking e-mail (couple hundred per day) and oh yes, editing. Let’s not forget editing. My scrawled notes have to end up in the computer some time, so the first round of edits happens while I’m typing them in, making the second round easier. In theory anyway.

 

And lets not forget that Macbook is also a gateway to the greatest time-suck of the universe: the internet. The glowing apple beckons me to Facebook, blog links of the world, Ebay, Twitter, Goodreads, and yes, Wikipedia. I also have an IPad now, which I can use to kill a good hour throwing a diverse array of birds at snorting green pig heads.

 

Hiding my electronic devices so I can compose on paper works for me. Maybe it will work for you. Give it a try some time. All you need is a good pen . . . some lined paper . . . a quiet room. Cat curled at your feet is optional.

Top 10 Reasons Zombies Make the Best Monsters

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My family and I return to our annual argument around this time of year: what are the best monsters of all time. Today, in the spirit of the season, I present my case for Zombies. Let’s see if you agree with me.

Counting down, I’ll start with reason #10…

When your mother/partner/child turns on you like a rabid dog and starts to eat you, that’ is scary. When the people you’ are emotionally and physically closest to, who you’ have shared your life with, protected, loved, and helped raise, think nothing of ripping open your abdomen and eating your entrails, that’ is scary. When threats, pleading and/or squealing for your life is futile against your loved ones, who are hell-bent on EATING you, that’ is SCARY.

#9. Cannibalism is DISGUSTING and morbidly fascinating at the same time. Did you read Alive by Piers Paul Read or any of the numerous books about the Donner party? I rest my case.

#8. Zombies are UGLY. Maybe not at first, but give them a couple days in the hot sun and well, dead flesh will rot and it’ is not pretty when it does. Add on festering wounds and untreated injuries, and it’s hard to find residual human cuteness. Maybe those laugh crinkles around the eyes? That shiny white smile? Nope.

#7. Zombies travel in PACKS. You can no’t fool yourself into thinking, oh, there i’s only one or two, I can take them down. ‘Cause, there i’s always more around the corner, and more, and more.

#6. Zombies MOAN, but even worse, when they eat you they make those CHEWING and SWALLOWING noises— while you a’re still alive enough to hear it. Now admit it, that is some major stomach rolling grossness you hadn’’t thought of before.

#5. Zombies have a FIRM GRIP. They a’re just hard to shake off. Once one gets hold of you, he is not letting go. Separate his hand from his body with a machete and that hand, with those vise-like fingers, is still wrapped around your ankle trying to take you down.

#4. Speaking of down, Zombies DON’T STAY DOWN. Shoot ‘em, club ‘em, hack away at ‘em and they just keep getting up with that single-minded purpose of chowing on your flesh. Yeah, I know you ha’ve read and seen the movies, and you know if you shoot one in the head, then he i’s down for the count, but here i’s a thought: he was dead before you shot him in the head, and now, afterward, he i’s supposed to be REALLY dead? Just saying.

#3. Zombies DON’T SLEEP. Sorry, but this is a major advantage. You have to sleep some time. You do n’ot need to sleep well, but you have this living cell thing going on which requires at least some sleep on a semi-regular basis. It bears repeating, Zombies don’’t need to sleep and you do.

#2. Zombieism (spelling?) is CATCHING. Transmittable, contagious, infectious, however you want to say it, but it i’s easy to become a zombie: one little bite.

And the #1 reason Zombies make the best monsters is….

SMART PEOPLE SURVIVE. You betcha! Ultimately, it’s a waiting game in the war between humans and zombies. Time, the environment, and a million bacteria are on our side— in a few months, a year at most, those zombies will do what every corpse on earth eventually does: DECOMPOSE. All you have to do is stay alive until then. Good luck to you all.

Next time we can address which Zombies are scarier, your traditional slow-moving, foot-dragging, dazed zombies or the ones who can sprint.

Photo © Chrisharvey

I Read Banned Books

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What do the following titles have in common:

Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen, Anne Frank: The Diary of a Young Girl, Snow Falling on Cedars by David Guterson, The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins,  The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian, by Sherman Alexie, Brave New World by Aldous Huxley, Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson, Song of Solomon by Toni Morrison, My Sister’s Keeper, by Jodi Picoult, The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger, The Golden Compass, by Philip Pullman

They’ve all been challenged, moved to the “restricted section” or out and out banned from schools and public libraries. Notice some of the newer titles listed above? Yeah, that’s because censorship happens today, right in your own community.

“According to the American Library Association (ALA), there were at least 348 in 2010; the ALA estimates that 70 to 80 percent are never reported.”

This directly from the ALA website:

Over the past ten years, American libraries were faced with 4,660 challenges.

1,536 challenges due to “sexually explicit” material;

1,231 challenges due to “offensive language”;977 challenges due to material deemed “unsuited to age group”;

553 challenges due to “violence”

370 challenges due to “homosexuality”; and

Further, 121 materials were challenged because they were “anti-family,” and an additional 304 were challenged because of their “religious viewpoints.”

1,720 of these challenges (approximately 37%) were in classrooms; 30% (or1,432) were in school libraries; 24% (or 1,119) took place in public libraries.There were 32 challenges to college classes; and 106 to academic libraries.  There are isolated cases of challenges to materials made available in or by prisons, special libraries, community groups, and student groups.  The majority of challenges were initiated by parents (almost exactly 48%), while patrons and administrators followed behind (10% each).

Obviously, I wouldn’t read Catcher in the Rye to my 6 year old, but I sure wouldn’t keep you from having access to that book at your public library. Today is the beginning of banned books week, Sept. 24- Oct. 1. Jump on the official website at http://www.bannedbooksweek.org/ for lots of information. You can even participate in the Virtual Read Out, where you can upload up to a two minute video of you reading from one of your favorite banned books.

HAPPY READING!