The Lost High School Sheep

"Maybe we don't want to be found."

“Maybe we don’t want to be found.”


E-mail and Facebook invites went out for my High School reunion recently and my friends and I are debating whether or not we should go. My nursing friends are conveniently working. Funny how those schedules are determined so far in advance: the reunion is in August. I’m always busy in August myself. Prepping for a new college semester. Wrapping up a new book. I’m sure there will be something on my plate.

So why the excuses? Well most of the High School friends I’ve wanted to connect with I’ve found already, or they’ve found me, through Facebook or mutual friends. We keep in touch. We’re good. And honestly, I’d rather spend the time with those folks. Dinner, coffee, brunch, picnics with the kids, if they come in to town for the reunion, and there’s a smaller group’s peripheral activity–that’s more my style.

Big reunion. Class of over 600. Nah. Heck, I didn’t even talk to the guy who had the locker next to mine for four years until the commencement ceremony. Not because I didn’t like him, but because I never saw him. We never had the same schedule. Even if only 10-15% show up, chances are the random sample will be people I’ll have a hard time remembering, because *cough* it’s been a while, and my high school tended to be very cliquey. I was a theater/choir girl myself. Although, I did enjoy that freshman year of shop class. One of only two girls in a sea of boys . . . but I digress.

Anyway, big reunions are not for everyone. Even smaller high school connections years after graduation are not for everyone.

Which brings me to the lost sheep issue. The reunion coordinators are trying to track down about 300 of our classmates who have dropped off the alumni radar. A remarkable thing to do in this day of Google a name and let’s see what pops up. But here’s the rub. Maybe they’ve dropped off the radar ON PURPOSE.

Maybe some of these sheep are lost and they don’t want to be found.

So fellow HS grads. If you know some of the folks on the lost sheep list, do them the courtesy and ask them first before handing over their contact information. Being lost should be their choice, not ours.

Photograph © Rud

3 thoughts on “The Lost High School Sheep

  1. @Brad, thanks for the reply. I went to my 10 year reunion and had more fun at the after party the next day I hosted at my house. I think that cinched it for me.

    @Cathy, there are still a couple of folks I also wonder, “whatever happened to . . .” but I don’t think going to a reunion is the place I’ll find out. I know I’m out here in cyber world and pretty easy to find if they want to connect. 🙂 It’s funny, but friends from my husband’s past have been finding him through me and this blog!

  2. I have attended all my reunions; 10 year, 20 year and 30 year. Something changed between the 20 year and 30 year, Facebook. Facebook allowed me to connect with those people I truely cared about, regardless of whether or not they were in my class. As a result, the 30 year reunion was anticlimatic. I realized that, like you, I can reconnect with whomever I wish. I have now reestablished all the relationships I wish to, so that Facebook too has become unneccessary. Now I just need to make sure that I don’t lose touch again.

  3. I have found most of the people I would like to be in touch with – there are still a few I would like to reconnect with that I have not found on social media, but as you say, they may want to stay off the grid. I like the idea of a reunion of closer friends and hope that we can arrange this.

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